Ehhh

I feel like I've lost out on my motivation over the past couple of weeks. I've been more obsessed with what I can eat, and less with how that food is going to affect me. I need to recommit myself to the attempt to lose. Instead of regular losses, I've been up and down over the past couple of weeks. I don't think it's a plateau because I haven't been as rigid as I was when I first started. I need to force myself to get back into my obsessive place. I need to remind myself of goal instead of being ruled by food once again.
I need to remind myself of the quote that inspired me when I first started to lose, 'A year from now, you'll wish you'd started today'

June 3, 2010. Would I rather be the size I am now and have eaten a lot over the past year, or would I rather watch what I eat and count points religiously and be at my goal weight? I think number two for sure!

10%!!!

I met my first mini-goal of 10% yesterday! I know that it might not seem like much considering how long I've been doing this, but it's nice to see actual results! This also means that I met my graduation mini-goal of 197! My next supposed mini goal is 180 by the end of summer, but I might want to revise that depending on the rate that I'm losing. I'll probably be hitting a plateau soon though and I just wanted to remember that. I've been weighing myself daily, which has led to less stress on weigh in day and I think that's a good thing. When I started I didn't want to weigh except at meetings, but it's more of a guiding tool than a frustration at this point. If that changes, I'll change my habits accordingly. At any rate, it's good to have met my goal, especially when I thought I wouldn't with a couple of slow weeks and a gain, but I pulled it out in the 4th quarter! I've also updated my overall goal to be five pounds higher. I recently discovered that my sister weighs 160 and we're built very similarly so I think that 145 is far too low for my body type. I've upped it to 150, and may go even to 155 because my mom and sister are so very skinny and that is what they weigh/want to weigh. There are times that being tall is awesome!
Mini Goals--- revised
197 by graduation-- MET 5/12/09 4 days early!
175 by my birthday (9/8) 22 pounds in 4 months (18 weeks)
165 by Thanksgiving 10 pounds in 3ish months (13 weeks)
160 by Christmas 5 pounds in one month (4 weeks)
150 by April 1st 2010! 10 pounds in 4 months (18 weeks)

I'm going to really have to re-balance my life after graduation, but for right now I'm going to continue eating the way that I have for the past few weeks. If I can keep up losing 2 pounds a week, these goals won't be a problem, even one pound a week some times should be fine. I need to stop thinking of this journey as a sprint, when it's a distance run.

Okay, school is most important right now, so I'm going to go study for my final.

Almost 20 lbs

I'm not sure what I wrote about the last time I blogged, but this week I lost 1.6 lbs for a total of 19.4. I was really excited at the time, but I know I still have a long way to go! The most exciting part of weighing in this week was that I'm officially under 200 lbs!!! It's a hard thing to deal with, being so radically overweight. I'm also fairly certain that I'm no longer obese, although that was back a month or so ago. I feel like I'm finally starting to see 'real' results and it's scary but at the same time really exciting. I'm going to see a cousin today who I haven't seen in a year, and I'm probably down 15 lbs from when I saw him. Since he's a guy, he may not notice, but it's getting to be like that whenvever I see someone I haven't seen in a few pounds. It's really starting to get people's notice. At my meeting this week, the leader said to never diminish your weight loss by saying that you still have a long way to go, but I'm not even 1/3 of the way there yet.

As far as good goes, I haven't been doing great. I ate 3 of my WPA yesterday. Something that I haven't done since the very first week when I had Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks before the meeting lol. At the time I was thinking that I wanted to try using 10 of them this week and see if I can still lose, but I think that I am totally fine without using anymore. I didn't eat all my points the night before, so I hope that it will balance out!!!

Okay I need to shower and run, but I'm glad that I blogged even if just for a bit. I really need all the tools every once in awhile.

Hmmm

I don't know how I'm feeling today, I ate what felt like a lot yesterday, but I had 3 points left over. I think that my problem this week has been a lack of motivation brought on my last week's gain. Ugh. I don't even like to type that. gain. This week I don't really expect a big loss, but I would like to get closer to where I was before the hell gain.
Today I'm going to the gym before my group meeting and I'm going to do a half hour on the elliptical and a half hour on the bike.
My food plan is
B- Cereal and Fat Free Cream cheese 4 points
S- Weight bar 2-3 points
S- special K crackers 2 points
D- 1 stuffed pepper 3 points
D- Refried beans and chips 6 points
S- Salad 2 points
= 20 Points for the day

I have to go to bed super early tonight. To work tomorrow.
Ugh I've got a busy day ahead.
And a busy week.

Losing my edge.

I haven't done that well this week. Well I mean I've been eating within my points each day (barely) but I haven't had as many left over. And I haven't been to the gym at all since Tuesday. I need to recommit myself to losing weight. I'll really start again tomorrow. I work until 1:30, then I'm going to the gym. Before then all I'm going to eat is cheerios and toast. I'll have eaten something like 5 points. Maybe 6 or 7. Okay. I'm going to try to crank out 5-10 pages of my cost paper before I hit the sheets tonight.

This week.

I haven't been doing great so far this week. Or even today. I've already eaten 10 points today and it's only 10:30 AM. I'll probably go to bed early though, but still. I've budgeted through when I come home at 7:30 or later. I'll probably have a frozen dinner tonight and maybe a bag of popcorn and an ice cream.

My job is going very poorly right now. I'm just so ready to be done. This week has just been really bad. I'm at the six month point where I just need to get out. I've applied to so many jobs that I can't even remember which ones are which. I really need a new position.

Food for Thursday
B- CC and Cereal 3
S- Fiber Bar 2
S Crackers and toppings 4
L- Turkey Sandwich 3
S- Pretzels and Salsa 3
D- Frozen Meal 6-7
S Popcorn 1
S Dessert 2
Total: 25 Points

Hello 2.6 pounds. I didn't miss you at all.

Then why are you back? I really can't deal with gaining. The thing is that I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't eat over my points ANY day at all. I went to the gym four times for at least 45 minutes each time. The gain HAS to be muscle. It just has to. I don't know what I'll do otherwise. I just need to keep on trucking this week.